Ichy, Scratchy, Stupid Bugs!

So I went to a wedding this weekend that was outdoors. It was lovely (photos to follow). Congrats Kathy and Chris! Anyways, I think I was outside for...maybe two hours. I came home with 9 mosquito bites. I'm wondering how this happens to me all of the time! I went camping once for 4 days. Came home with 30 mosquito bites!! I didn't' even know that happened! At some point don't they land and say "well it looks like the rest of the city has already been here" I even have a bite in my scalp...which let me tell you falls second to the "between the fingers" bite.

So I started researching about reliefs since I'm sitting at work concentrating on nothing but not scratching my bites. I have instantly ruled out the "eat more garlic" remedy since I would rather my coworkers not complain about "the Oder that would be Edith". Oh and I'm pretty sure that these sneaky bugs planned them just right to run along all of my clothes lines so the moment I move, breath or turn...I itch.

Anyways, here are my favorite funny/most potential reliefs for bites:
1. Rub a bar of soap on it
2. Cold compress (hot always makes me itchier later)
3. Vinegar...but then there's the smell again...
4. Honey??? You're joking right? That would lead me ants instead of bites...no thanks
5. Meat tenderizer and water...okay I'll admit. I'm curious, but it sounds a bit morbid
6. Then of course you have the anti-itch lotions...which last a few hours

I've read a few interesting theories as to why I am always the center of the mesquito feast.
1. Some people give off an oder that repels mosquitos. So if we can bottle this stuff, people like me would treat it as liquid gold...can anyone just go ahead and jump on that for me? Thanks.
2. Some bugs prefer a persons blood type as opposed to others. I wonder if that works for vampires too?

I'm going to go ahead with the thoght that I'm screwed. That's okay at least others won't get bit because I'll be swarmed. Oh geeze, okay back to not thinking about them...